How to explain Misophonia to others - simply
There is one thing that Misophonia sufferers seem to be particularly good at : hiding it from other people. Have you ever been sitting with acquaintances or work colleagues, people you don't know that well but you are keen to make an impression? Then, someone opens a packet of crisps or starts munching on an apple.
Picture the scene - there you are, the picture of calm serenity with a forced smile, nodding along with the conversation whilst inside you are a boiling well of rage. How practiced are you when it comes to concealing your condition? How many times have you had to endure another person's eating noises just to give the impression that you are FINE, no problem at all, you are enjoying this gathering and you can't wait to see them all again. Except the truth is very different.
I've heard people say "oh, Misophonia, isn't that when someone gets angry with people breathing?" like it's some kind of character defect or personal choice. If only there WAS a way that it could be more visible without the sufferer having to get up and walk away or snap at the offender "why don't you close your mouth when you are eating?!". Many sufferers feel extreme shame when they imagine reacting this way and would not choose to say this to someone they didn't know well. In the above scenario, it might be an important work meeting where you are keen to make connections. It might be the first day in a new school or college, and you want to make friends and be sociable. It might be a happy family gathering or celebration with people you haven't seen for a long time. There are only so many excuses you can give about needing the toilet or having a headache, or grabbing some fresh air. Because nobody can see it, let alone understand it.
So how on earth can you explain Misophonia to someone you don't know that well but it is important for you to build a relationship with? If you are becoming increasingly distressed at pretending everything is hunky dory, you might have thought about ways to explain it. At least then the apple-eating offender would understand why you have to keep getting up to 'use the loo'. How can you explain Misophonia to others, simply, that can help someone understand and actually act on this information (by perhaps not eating the apple in the first place?) It is obviously context-dependent. In a meeting with work professionals, it helps to be polite, and to the point, such as "I have a condition called Misophonia which makes me very sensitive to eating noises, but it is really important for me to remain part of this meeting, do you mind if I just take 5 minutes and come back when lunch is over?" Or, "I have a sound sensitivity condition which I can't really help, I'm really enjoying our meeting but I'll need to grab lunch by myself if that's okay".
It's highly understandable that sufferers feel a great deal of guilt and shame when trying to explain Misophonia because still so little is known about it. You might feel embarrassed but people may be more understanding than you think. Remain calm and polite, even with a touch of humour. It is very important that you are clear it is not a choice, and it is a recognised condition that has very real symptoms. Maybe there's always one who won't believe you or just think you're being difficult - but it could also mean that you don't have to sit simmering with invisible rage whilst everyone carries on chomping and chewing.
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